The Narcissistic Vampire Checklist

THE SMARTEST, MOST TALENTED, ALL-AROUND BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD TEST

By Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D.

True or false?
Score one point for each true answer.

1. This person has achieved more than most people his age. - Obama

2. This person is firmly convinced that he is better, smarter or more talented than other people. - Obama

3. This person loves competition, but is a poor loser. - Obama

4. This person has fantasies of doing something great or of being famous and often expects to be treated as if these fantasies had already come true. - Obama

5. This person has very little interest in what other people are thinking or feeling unless he wants something from them. - Obama

6. This person is a name dropper. - Obama

7. To this person it is very important to live in the right place and associate with the right people. - Obama

8. This person takes advantage of other people to achieve his own goals. - Obama

9. This person usually manages to be in a category by himself. - Obama

10. This person often feels put upon when asked to take care of his responsibilities to family, friends or work-group. - Obama

11. This person regularly disregards rules or expects them to be changed because he is special. - Obama

12. This person becomes irritated when other people don’t automatically do what he wants them to do, even when they have a good reason for not complying. - Obama

13. This person reviews sports, art and literature by telling you what he would have done instead. - Obama

14. This person thinks most criticisms of him are motivated by jealousy. - Obama

15. This person regards anything short of worship to be rejection. - Obama

16. This person suffers from a congenital inability to recognize his own mistakes. On the rare occasions that he does recognize a mistake, even the slightest error can precipitate a major depression. - Obama

17. This person often explains why people who are better known than he are not really all that great. - Obama

18. This person often complains of being mistreated or misunderstood. - Obama

19. People either love or hate him. - Obama

20. Despite his overly high opinion of himself, he is really quite intelligent and talented. - Obama

Scoring:

Five or more true answers qualify the person as a Narcissistic Emotional Vampire, though not necessarily for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality. If the person scores higher than ten, and is not a member of the royal family, be careful that you aren't mistaken for one of the servants.